Nobody’s Perfect, But I’m Perfect for Me

July 16, 2012  |  Deep Thoughts

Everyone out there sits and judges people based on how they look, how they dress, how they act, or even just how they breathe.  Some might say that a person is perfect whereas they don’t even know what that person is going through.  There is a saying out there “Don’t just a book by its cover” which applies perfectly in this life.

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Seriously, don’t just a person by how they appear.  I may sit there with you laughing, having the time of my life but deep down inside I may be crumbling and falling apart.  The main aim to this post is that I have always put myself down, and I think in a way I still put myself down.  A million and one thoughts go through my head everyday and each and every one of them is worse than the other.

Before I got braces I would berate myself on how I looked, I am no super model but I am not an evil witch as well.  I immediately deemed myself unworthy of people’s love and respect simply because I have gained a lot of weight, had “british” teeth, had a crooked nose, and so much more.  Yes I saw all of these faults in myself, and I kept telling myself that I was unworthy.

It didn’t stop with how I looked like, I went on to sabotage how I thought.  Although statistically I knew that I was a smart individual, I kept on thinking that I was dumb.  I can’t do something then that must mean I am stupid.  It’s just a method of thinking.  In short, I was bullying myself.  The result of this bullying remains to be seen but imagine if this was someone else bullying me.

Thankfully I am a strong person that I can still differentiate between what is wrong or right.  Had I been weaker I might have done something to harm myself, to harm my health.  I am not saying that I never stumbled upon that thought, I actually did more than once at different points in my life.  But imagine those kids out there in different schools, where some older kid or even a person their age starts to tease them about how they look like or how they act.  There is a high number of bullying happening all around the world and the result of this bullying pushes these younger children to do something to silence that sound.  The sound of a bully.

I have read and will continue to read about numerous deaths happening between younger children simply because they were bullied by a parent, a classmate, a friend, an enemy, anyone really.  Right now bullying can take place from a school’s playground to an online social media website.  It’s not fair really.  One should stop the bullying to themselves and stop other people from bullying them.

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I still don’t see myself as a perfect individual, I don’t have the perfect body, nor do I have the perfect face, nor even the perfect mind.  But at least I know that I am a good person deep down inside.  I help others, I treat people kindly to the extent that some abuse it, and well simply said I live.  My advice to everyone out there who goes through what I go through everyday, the bullying you put yourself through that there is a light on the other side of the tunnel, and when you think that “no one is going to miss me if I suddenly disappear from the world” it’s not true because you might not know it but there might be one person in between a billion who will notice that you are gone and who will be devastated.

The path to self loving is quite long and treacherous but worth it in the end.

P.S. To that one person who I know will be reading this and agreeing to each and every word, I hear you friend and I know that you might not show it outside but you too suffer from what I go through.  I am here if you need a person to lean on and I know you are there.

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About the author

I am a Kuwaiti Apple and gadget girl freak, who gets bored of her blog layouts so much that I change them like I crazy. Currently I work in a newspaper and if you don't see me around I'm being sucked into my job reviewing TV Shows and APPS! This is my space where I vent and release everything, welcome to it.

28 Comments


  1. Ohh Love this post .. I was that person before .. not anymore .. some people especially here always tend to put you down .. but i grew to the person who cared too much to not care for the people who are not worth my time .. You feel an insecure about something .. simply try to change it ;) + big tip .. I dont read books but ” New Earth” changed my life and the way I think ;)

    P.s I’m jealous that your loosing all that weight :P

    • Hehe don’t be jealous hehe because it’s not coming off that quickly! :P But at least part of it is staying off, now if only I avoid Elevation then I might lose faster.

      And it’s not about being insecure but it’s the constant reminder people infuse in you which gets your brain in hyper drive mode. But thanks for your kind words and I will definitely give that book a read.

  2. We all could relate to your description in one way or the other but I think what could help is for you to realize that often criticism is perceived mentally by you more than a deliberate assault by others. In a realistic scenario people are just too busy to target you and think about you on a daily basis to harm you either verbally or emotionally (unless they’re sick of course). What’s more is that people are often worried about their own lives and their own criticisms. Often when someone criticizes you or insults you, 90% of the time it’s about “them” and not really “you”. Their actions are the result of pent up pressure either because they were having a bad day or because of one reason or the other. Unless it is not a rejection due to personal situation, a relationship, a family circumstance or least likely a psycho, then you shouldn’t really pay that much attention to it. “Bullying” is something the media has engorged and as a result has been socially instilled as an inevitable phenomenon especially in high schools. Thankfully we’re past that age. Having said all of that it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt sometimes so your feelings are warranted.

    • It’s true we are in an endless cycle in which when someone is pressured you get the pressure in return (i.e. at work when your boss gets pressured by his superiors about meeting a deadline that in turn comes out on you and you get the short end of the stick sort of). The reason of this post was not to describe different types of bullying or shed a light on how media has changed the way we perceive it. It’s mainly to raise awareness that “Hello, I too have a human side which I try to avoid to show in public but sometimes can’t help but do”.

      Thanks though for the comment it meant a lot to me :)

  3. Very well said and very true! I simply think people should be comfortable in their skin no matter what it is! Sometimes criticism goes overboard even if its meant as constructive! I’m honestly happy seeing you the way you are these days, it took a lot of freaking nagging to get you back on board but when your in a happy place it shows!

    Do what you need to do to be happy! Its just that simple! :D

    • Thanks dude and you know what sometimes people can’t get too comfortable in their own skin because of the constant harrasment they might get.. Whether its small or big it does affect a person (sort of like when you see a child acting stupid and you call him that constantly he’ll grow up feeling that he is in fact so, get my drift?)

      And I truly am in a happier place hehe it took me a couple of years but I made it there and I’m feeling much calmer! And what I need to be happy is a new Apple everyday! :P

  4. I’ll always love you no matter what, and what makes me love you more is knowing that you’re kicking that inner bully’s ass right now lol

    I love this post, it’s very honest and I don’t think there’s a single person that could read this and not relate to it.

    • Hehehe the inner bully can’t win in this case :P I have constantly put that bully down and beat him at his own game! Nevertheless I did spend a few sleepless nights crying away the pain but that’s what makes a person stronger.

      I really do hope people would relate as this is my way of saying, “Hey, you over there, I know that deep down inside you have these thoughts, well guess what welcome to the secret club!” :P

  5. You are always the best, U R # 01 in my life JJ
    Love U

  6. Very well said.

    It’s an endless problem how people always judge us by how we look or appear to be and some times their thoughts might change how we really look to our selves but we should always know that no one is perfect and as long as we acknowledge that fact we can improve our selves and survive those bullys

  7. Whenever someone tries to put you down, just tell yourself: MacBook Pro with retina display. Soon.

    • Hells yeah! They’re the reason I’m still here! :P After MacBook Pro Retina Display comes the “new iPhone” then comes the “new iPad mini” then comes the new “iPod” collection and of course the cycle of life continues! :P

  8. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post.
    Love you Jacqui x

  9. Thanks

    very touchy

  10. love your personal posts. to me, though i suspect we come from different backgrounds, you are very very relatable, approachable, and have such an active mindset both active in the sense of ‘being aware and sane’ and active in ‘non stop thoughtful process’

    got yourback here too.

    • I love you dear! Seriously I still read your blog from time to time although I do not comment much. I really adore the fact that you do mine as well. And yes it’s true different backgrounds but we do have some similarities.

      Thanks for taking the time really this means the world!

  11. Great post mashalla…it’s good to share such thoughts with ppl, to make them think about it for a minute

    Oh n Jaquie, being your self is what makes you perfect :D

    • Thanks A7mad :D It’s nice but at the same time it’s revealing more than you’d like to, it’s your deepest darkest parts of you hehe and thanks for that comment! I truly appreciate it!

  12. In the short space of time that I have known you, you have been kind, honest and sweet. I can’t imagine why anyone would bully you or try to put you down. You have a wonderful, creative blog, an amazing career ahead of you in Journalism/Media and look right up there- regardless of what any of us has written… The comment from your daddy says it all.

    Xxx

  13. Oh and thankyou for this post. I love when Bloggers get personal x

  14. prefer not to disclose my name

    جاكي

    سلمي على الوالد سلام كثير وإن شاء الله يكون بأحسن حال

    ومبارك عليكم الشهر