How is it that before, meeting each other for slightly a few minutes meant the world to them, and now those minutes pass by as if they are seconds and neither is satisfied to stay with the other more than hours talking and cuddling. The warmth of his arms around her shoulders makes her feel loved, very loved unlike the other feelings in the world. Now, merely talking over the phone doesn’t get rid of this sense of loneliness, because when they are not close together they feel all alone in this world that they constantly ask each other questions.
She asks him, "After all those years, do you ever regret being with me?" He of course starts to tease her and tell her what a dumb question that is, but after much persuading he replies "If I ever regretted or doubted us, I wouldn’t have stayed with you" and she would melt at those words.. It is always her who has doubts or fears that one day he might get bored and leave, but in truth they are both worried, they love each other alot and they spent so much time together that spending time apart merely kills them. She can’t stand it much, she can’t sleep at night without hearing his voice whispering good night and giving her a good night kiss. And he can well sleep without her, he has done it many times, but she has always been in his dreams therefore it doesn’t count as sleeping without her.
Until recently she was the one asking the questions of whether he thinks this was a mistake or whether they shouldn’t be doing this and all, but he shocked her the last time they spoke on the phone by asking her "Do you still love me like you used to?" She of course felt that there was something behind it.. probably the constant teasing she has mentioned to him, about how she wants other guys rather than him, as jokes really, but maybe it got to him.. so she answers him "No" and he’s like "Aha" but then she adds "I love you more than I used to!" and he started laughing because he actually believed her. With time love grows and grows until it becomes unbearable to stand the love between two people.
They both would like to think that there is more in the future for them, but both fear planning for it, because fate has a way of destroying all plans. They live their love for the moment and feel that whatever comes their way will be good eventually for them, but they hope that their love will last forever.
I believe that hopefully one day they will end up together living and aging together. But that’s wishful thinking, who knows if they will live one more day or anything else. Living for the moment is always better than a million plans.
Euphoria, for a person comes in many ways.. Some find great happiness in doing good deeds, others in finding the rush of stealing and such. But to this one person her euphoria is found through a literary medium that allows herself to be lost in it. It allows her to live her life in many different ways. One time she can be the docile heroine and another she could be the ravenous raging beauty who can’t control her rage or her passion. It is in such mediums, called books, that this one person loses herself in.
Escaping reality into a novel or a book is basically the solution to her, she finds that life is too heavy without finding a secluded utopian place where she can find herself or enjoy herself. Books are the solution to her problem. Books provide her with the right sense of being or sense of wanting an alternate reality, she can certainly lose herself in one book for hours until the story has ended and yet she wants more and more from the story. She can’t survive without the feeling of love, of finding a place where she might belong.
She found that in Regency England, in the stories of Dukes and Duchesses, the stories of Earls and Countesses, Barons and Baronnesses, Lords and Ladies, etc. She finds that their time was filled with pleasure as well as some mysteries, true that sometimes their rules are brutal and such but it doesn’t exist in her mind. Her mind has formed this land as her Utopian land, her ideal place. Imagine being a Duchess falling in love with a handsome Duke who basically laid the world at her feet on a gold platter, she accepts it.. She finds herself warming him in his bed, bearing his children, enjoying multiple parties, helping him with his adventures in many different ways, to some the need for a docile silly wife was a requirement but not to this Duke, he wants a passionate intelligent wife, one who will be his equal partner. Oh how, she loves this Utopia and wishes to have existed in it. True there were bad marks around at that time but the good takes over and being an ideal place has its advantages.
She wishes that others might find this euphoria in such novels or in any different type of books. Books are the escape methods today for many of the troubled women and men in this world.
It is said that one reads subjects which are lacking in their lives, if you approach a person reading the financial pages you would find out that they are looking for ways to better their financial status and that they are currently broke, to see a person reading a cook book would mean their hunger and stomaches are the world to them, to her: romances are her thing, they are what need to exist in her reality, chivilarous romances and nothing more.ima
The clocks goes tick tock every second passes.. Tick Tock..
The professor passes out the exam papers starting from the back row all the way to the front. Tick Tock, I am sitting at the front.
Everyone all around is reviewing last minute points before the papers reach them. Tick Tock, I sit crossing my fingers wishing it is the same exam as the previous day’s one. Tick Tock.
Exams with this professor are divided on two days, whether you are able to make the first or the second it’s up to you, Tick tock! I made the second. Tick Tock. The papers are all out, no question sheet has come around, the Doctor positions himself in front of the classroom and starts to recite the 4 exam questions. Tick Tock.
They sound weird, unknown yet in a far away distant spot in my mind, the answers exist surfacely. Tick Tock. I panic as I am writing the questions down to answer each in its own space. Tick Tock.
I curse the way fate always always screws me up with no chance of ever giving me a break. Tick Tock. I look over to my best friend sitting next to me panicing as well, since we both shared the same look of astonishment and shock with these new questions. Tick Tock.
I start to answer the first question perfectly, Tick Tock. The second question displays a bit of an obstacle, yet the main idea could be found in between the first few lines, Tick Tock. The third question drains some of the energy in my brain and raises the panic level, Tick Tock.
The fourth question, the last question, the panic level rises, the stress level increases rapidly, it is something I looked over in a haste and didn’t spend much time on. I know roughly the answer but nothing is coming to me, Tick tock. It’s blank, all I see is white empty space that needs filling in, Tick Tock. I stare at the floor, whisper to my friend for some help and nothing is achieved except a rough answer to what would have been the correct answer. Tick Tock.
Turning in the paper, after a period of 40 minutes passing, Tick Tock. Hurrying outside with my best friend to yell out "Fuck Fuck Fuck, what the hell was that!" Tick Tock.
Had I only exerted more studying effort, Tick Tock. I might have done quite well, Tick Tock. Going over the questions back in the car, I discover that most were answered in a very rough and non right way, Tick Tock. I might be looking at a flunking grade, Tick Tock. It’s the end of the road now, nothing new to do, nothing new to help except, Tick Tock.
Sitting here in my bed, I realize one thing though….Tick Tock…
Fate has a thing against me, Tick Tock. Fate wants to screw me up, Tick Tock. I am my fate.
Violets are blue,
Monkeys like you,
Should be kept in a zoo.
Don’t get angry,
You will find me there too,
Not in a cage,
But, laughing at you.
a 28 year old Kuwaiti Gadget Freak who is obsessively in love with Apple Products so much that she probably has everything made by Apple. Currently she's being a lazy bum and putting off writing and everything else but when she does this is her space where she likes to vent and release everything, so welcome to it.
A blogger for the past 8 years and still loving it.
