It seems the older we get the faster time flies by, I remember when I was a kid (not that it was too long ago, I was a kid just yesterday actually hehe just kidding) anyways when we were kids we would think time is standing still and we can’t wait to grow up and not have to answer to our parents or do homework and the whole shebang. Little did our younger selves know that the minute you start to grow up responsibilities start to pile on and you just feel so swamped and at a loss for said time.
I have now been out of a job for a full year and some change and you would think I could have used that time wisely and reorganized my room (it has become an official hoarder’s mess compound there) or finished those blog designs I promised some friends (yes you know who you are hehe) or even attempted to do anything useful but all I remember spending my time on is eating, sleeping, watching some TV shows, and just lazying around. I have even lost the will to write in a way, I think the lack of being able to express my personal feelings has something to do with that. My promise to myself really and not to this blog is to be more of myself. I want to share a post a day just being my raw un-filtered self (not that I can be 100% unfiltered, damn not being completely anonymous anymore!).
Starting with this year I have attempted to join a gym and I am actually attending, this month not as much as last but really I am getting there. I haven’t lost any weight officially yet (damn those holiday turkeys they really are insanely delicious but spend forever on your hips!) but I am sort of on the right path. I have quit (or tried to) fizzy drinks and replaced that with water but it is not a 100% abstinence, I do have the occasional Coke or Pepsi with a burger now and then but I am trying to increase my water intake from just one 330ml bottle to drinking at least 6-8 of them a day. It feels different really when I take water with a meal instead of the fizzy drinks because I just feel a tad bit lighter.
Taking care of my health will be a priority this year, I should just stop taking things for granted because really Father Time can do only so much and eventually everything catches up with you. I seriously have no idea what I want to say right now or how I drifted this far from the main topic but that’s what it means to live in my head.
A thousand voices fighting to be heard.
P.S. If I am required to add a photo every time I want to just be me, I will lose interest and leave. I miss my old way of posting where it was just me and the keyboard against all of you. I can go on and on about anything and nothing really but when you ask me to edit photos and choose which one that goes I just slack off.
I’m still alive and around, I know I pretty much haven’t been updating as often as I should and I deserve a real kick in the bum but I promise (yes this time I will keep it) [no really I will keep it] to write more if only a few lines to get the voices out of my head.
Yes although I am somewhat sane, I tend to have voices talking to me in my head sometimes and they just can’t stop. Life as an unemployed individual is really not always that fun, especially since you can’t travel on your own funds and waste the time on a never-ending vacation. I have pretty much depleted all of my savings and funds and am beyond literally broke!
Things might be “somewhat” looking up as I am in the final process of finalizing my papers for a Government job. Yes the Private sector has deemed me not “fresh” enough or not “experienced” enough to hire and thus the dilemma of walking in either too qualified or not qualified enough has haunted me. Not to mention how they want an MBA simply because they just do. I mean, it’s good that I even graduated university and didn’t drop out like my idol Steven Paul Jobs! *Just Kidding* (seriously I’m kidding)! Oh wow, how I missed this sort of babbling on endlessly (hopefully not since this post has to end) and just writing out what those voices in my head say. I have silenced them for so long.
Damn, I have missed you blog, seriously missed you! I now understand why I feel so lonely some days! I have tried to replace my blog with Instagram (@Jacqui) or reading books and watching TV shows and that just doesn’t help me vent out.
I will now vent once a day! :P Watch out! To those of you who are still around, *waves hello!*
Have you ever grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and was about to write something that was on your mind and the moment you put the pen on the paper it flies out of your head? Or have you ever opened a new tab in your browser and wanted to type a URL link and just stared blankly at the screen not being able to remember a thing about what you wanted to do?
No? Really, double check think about it again.
That just happened to me, two bouts of forgetfulness took place and it freaked me out. I think I’ll blame the fact that I was watching a TV Show while attempting to multi-task and for some reason the thoughts just flew out of my head but it can also mean that I’m ancient now. My memory has been bad lately and I don’t know what to do to improve it. I can’t remember things anymore whereas before I used to be able to remember everything and anything. Now I need to remember what I wanted to write on that piece of paper and what I wanted to search for :/ It’s going to bug me until I figure it out.
Share with me your experiences, if you had any hehe.
UPDATE: I just remembered I wanted to double check my phone bill that’s the URL I wanted to visit LOL! Oh thank God I won’t be losing sleep on that :P
Last night I had one of the weirdest dreams I have ever dreamt. I dreamt of Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) from “The Big Bang Theory” and oddly enough it felt as if I was part of an episode. To say that I was freaked out when I woke up is a real understatement but at the same time the dream has stayed with me until I watched yesterday’s episode.
In my dream I was sharing an apartment with Sheldon and a few other people (I’d like to think they were the cast of the show as well but I don’t recall the faces) however it was not the same apartment we were used to on television. For one thing everyone had their own room and a desk inside the bedrooms. This drove Sheldon insane because he did not think that a bedroom is an ideal place to sit and work and thus began his quest to move his desk outside into the living room.
I cannot recall any details whatsoever except for the fact that it was Sheldon Cooper in the dream and a desk was the whole problem especially its location in the living room but the moment I woke up, I had a huge question mark on my face.
Have you ever felt this way? Ever dreamt of a television show character or plot line and saw yourself in the show? I’m just glad that I dreamt of someone I actually liked, do I wish it was Neal Caffrey (Matt Bomer) from “White Collar” or Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder) from “The Vampire Diaries” or even Elijah Mikaelson (Daniel Gillies) from “The Originals”, HELL YES! But at least Sheldon is included on that list for different reasons! :P
Now that I’m actually writing more than I have this past year, I have pinpointed what was my problem (yes I choose to blame my laziness on something other than myself). I think it’s time for me to get a face-lift. This theme has worked nicely for the past three years but now I feel it’s time for me to get something new and awesome like myself.
I may have experienced some jealousy since Lujain’s new blog is quite awesome and feels light but I think I just want something new. The only issue is that I’ve got two face-lift projects ahead of mine. I can’t just drop them and start focusing on myself right?
Well let’s hope that I can actually finish them sooner and I’d be that much closer to a new design here. Any pointers you’d like to share? Things I should do? Things I should avoid? Do drop a comment and tell me your thoughts. And tell me what you’re having trouble with here.
One thing I have to update is the pages and the data on those pages not to mention the widgets I’ve noticed that one of them is down and has been for a while, I should fix that.
I pretty much spend my downtime these days either reading TV shows or watching books, oh wait scratch that what I meant to say is reading books and watching TV shows. Yeah that sounds about right. We have established before that I actually have lots of ideas I’d like to write about but the second I sit down in front of the computer I decide to watch an episode of a TV show and once that is done I start the next episode and so forth, before I know it it’s midnight and I’m just too damn lazy to write that post. Same thing happens when I’m engrossed in a book.
One of my biggest issues in maintaining a schedule with writing on my blog these past few years is the fact that as much as I love taking photos I dislike the editing process. Sorting through a gazillion pictures, editing, and watermarking them just takes too much time. Give me an empty post with just text any day over one filled with a thousand images.
With the recent gadget releases and posts about them I think I have semi-found myself back. In the upcoming weeks I’ll preview/review some TV shows that are coming out not to mention some of my favorite gadgets which I’ll probably own sooner rather than later and I guess that should keep me busy right?
In the meantime, what’s up amigos? Que pasa? Donde esta la biblioteca? :P
Enjoy the rest of your evening!
I feel that I have written this exact post about a million times, and each time promising that I’m back for good and a few short weeks later I disappear (let’s be honest it’s even less than a few weeks). Something just doesn’t feel right, I constantly get my greatest ideas before I go to bed.
The minute my head hits the pillow I start penning (that’s writing for you non-English majors :P) the post and thinking about what I want to say and when the morning comes I promise myself that I will actually end up writing something today, but the day comes and goes without me having written anything.
I kind of feel uninspired, a sense of writer’s block and everything block if that’s a situation one can be in. It’s been 6 months now without a job and I feel a bit demotivated, I get bouts of depression from time to time but then again I can chalk those up to my medication whose side effect includes mood swings and such. I don’t feel as if I am my usual joyous self (not that I was insanely joyous to begin with) but I am thankful enough that I am alive and able to write at least these meager words. I feel lost, I have plenty of experiences to write about but when it comes down to it, when I sit in front of the computer and place my fingers on the keyboard, everything blanks out and I just disappear.
It’s the same feeling when it comes to being inspired to create something new, working on new websites, new designs and such I just feel blah. I’m not sure what is happening but I do hope it’s just a phase.
Now that I semi-returned I want to write something, anything really, once a day at least get my thoughts flowing. Get used to writing again. I will ignore the need to include pictures in my raw posts simply because that’s how I did it for so long and I was happy with the outcome. So bear with me (errrr errrrr I’m a bear ;P) and let’s see how long this comeback sticks, hopefully more than the 2 seconds Justin Timberlake gave ‘NSYNC during the MTV Video Music Awards this year :P
So, Good Night since I decided to not sleep until I actually write these thoughts this time.