I’m still alive and around, I know I pretty much haven’t been updating as often as I should and I deserve a real kick in the bum but I promise (yes this time I will keep it) [no really I will keep it] to write more if only a few lines to get the voices out of my head.
Yes although I am somewhat sane, I tend to have voices talking to me in my head sometimes and they just can’t stop. Life as an unemployed individual is really not always that fun, especially since you can’t travel on your own funds and waste the time on a never-ending vacation. I have pretty much depleted all of my savings and funds and am beyond literally broke!
Things might be “somewhat” looking up as I am in the final process of finalizing my papers for a Government job. Yes the Private sector has deemed me not “fresh” enough or not “experienced” enough to hire and thus the dilemma of walking in either too qualified or not qualified enough has haunted me. Not to mention how they want an MBA simply because they just do. I mean, it’s good that I even graduated university and didn’t drop out like my idol Steven Paul Jobs! *Just Kidding* (seriously I’m kidding)! Oh wow, how I missed this sort of babbling on endlessly (hopefully not since this post has to end) and just writing out what those voices in my head say. I have silenced them for so long.
Damn, I have missed you blog, seriously missed you! I now understand why I feel so lonely some days! I have tried to replace my blog with Instagram (@Jacqui) or reading books and watching TV shows and that just doesn’t help me vent out.
I will now vent once a day! :P Watch out! To those of you who are still around, *waves hello!*
Have you ever grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and was about to write something that was on your mind and the moment you put the pen on the paper it flies out of your head? Or have you ever opened a new tab in your browser and wanted to type a URL link and just stared blankly at the screen not being able to remember a thing about what you wanted to do?
No? Really, double check think about it again.
That just happened to me, two bouts of forgetfulness took place and it freaked me out. I think I’ll blame the fact that I was watching a TV Show while attempting to multi-task and for some reason the thoughts just flew out of my head but it can also mean that I’m ancient now. My memory has been bad lately and I don’t know what to do to improve it. I can’t remember things anymore whereas before I used to be able to remember everything and anything. Now I need to remember what I wanted to write on that piece of paper and what I wanted to search for :/ It’s going to bug me until I figure it out.
Share with me your experiences, if you had any hehe.
UPDATE: I just remembered I wanted to double check my phone bill that’s the URL I wanted to visit LOL! Oh thank God I won’t be losing sleep on that :P
Last night I had one of the weirdest dreams I have ever dreamt. I dreamt of Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) from “The Big Bang Theory” and oddly enough it felt as if I was part of an episode. To say that I was freaked out when I woke up is a real understatement but at the same time the dream has stayed with me until I watched yesterday’s episode.
In my dream I was sharing an apartment with Sheldon and a few other people (I’d like to think they were the cast of the show as well but I don’t recall the faces) however it was not the same apartment we were used to on television. For one thing everyone had their own room and a desk inside the bedrooms. This drove Sheldon insane because he did not think that a bedroom is an ideal place to sit and work and thus began his quest to move his desk outside into the living room.
I cannot recall any details whatsoever except for the fact that it was Sheldon Cooper in the dream and a desk was the whole problem especially its location in the living room but the moment I woke up, I had a huge question mark on my face.
Have you ever felt this way? Ever dreamt of a television show character or plot line and saw yourself in the show? I’m just glad that I dreamt of someone I actually liked, do I wish it was Neal Caffrey (Matt Bomer) from “White Collar” or Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder) from “The Vampire Diaries” or even Elijah Mikaelson (Daniel Gillies) from “The Originals”, HELL YES! But at least Sheldon is included on that list for different reasons! :P
Now that I’m actually writing more than I have this past year, I have pinpointed what was my problem (yes I choose to blame my laziness on something other than myself). I think it’s time for me to get a face-lift. This theme has worked nicely for the past three years but now I feel it’s time for me to get something new and awesome like myself.
I may have experienced some jealousy since Lujain’s new blog is quite awesome and feels light but I think I just want something new. The only issue is that I’ve got two face-lift projects ahead of mine. I can’t just drop them and start focusing on myself right?
Well let’s hope that I can actually finish them sooner and I’d be that much closer to a new design here. Any pointers you’d like to share? Things I should do? Things I should avoid? Do drop a comment and tell me your thoughts. And tell me what you’re having trouble with here.
One thing I have to update is the pages and the data on those pages not to mention the widgets I’ve noticed that one of them is down and has been for a while, I should fix that.
I pretty much spend my downtime these days either reading TV shows or watching books, oh wait scratch that what I meant to say is reading books and watching TV shows. Yeah that sounds about right. We have established before that I actually have lots of ideas I’d like to write about but the second I sit down in front of the computer I decide to watch an episode of a TV show and once that is done I start the next episode and so forth, before I know it it’s midnight and I’m just too damn lazy to write that post. Same thing happens when I’m engrossed in a book.
One of my biggest issues in maintaining a schedule with writing on my blog these past few years is the fact that as much as I love taking photos I dislike the editing process. Sorting through a gazillion pictures, editing, and watermarking them just takes too much time. Give me an empty post with just text any day over one filled with a thousand images.
With the recent gadget releases and posts about them I think I have semi-found myself back. In the upcoming weeks I’ll preview/review some TV shows that are coming out not to mention some of my favorite gadgets which I’ll probably own sooner rather than later and I guess that should keep me busy right?
In the meantime, what’s up amigos? Que pasa? Donde esta la biblioteca? :P
Enjoy the rest of your evening!
I feel that I have written this exact post about a million times, and each time promising that I’m back for good and a few short weeks later I disappear (let’s be honest it’s even less than a few weeks). Something just doesn’t feel right, I constantly get my greatest ideas before I go to bed.
The minute my head hits the pillow I start penning (that’s writing for you non-English majors :P) the post and thinking about what I want to say and when the morning comes I promise myself that I will actually end up writing something today, but the day comes and goes without me having written anything.
I kind of feel uninspired, a sense of writer’s block and everything block if that’s a situation one can be in. It’s been 6 months now without a job and I feel a bit demotivated, I get bouts of depression from time to time but then again I can chalk those up to my medication whose side effect includes mood swings and such. I don’t feel as if I am my usual joyous self (not that I was insanely joyous to begin with) but I am thankful enough that I am alive and able to write at least these meager words. I feel lost, I have plenty of experiences to write about but when it comes down to it, when I sit in front of the computer and place my fingers on the keyboard, everything blanks out and I just disappear.
It’s the same feeling when it comes to being inspired to create something new, working on new websites, new designs and such I just feel blah. I’m not sure what is happening but I do hope it’s just a phase.
Now that I semi-returned I want to write something, anything really, once a day at least get my thoughts flowing. Get used to writing again. I will ignore the need to include pictures in my raw posts simply because that’s how I did it for so long and I was happy with the outcome. So bear with me (errrr errrrr I’m a bear ;P) and let’s see how long this comeback sticks, hopefully more than the 2 seconds Justin Timberlake gave ‘NSYNC during the MTV Video Music Awards this year :P
So, Good Night since I decided to not sleep until I actually write these thoughts this time.
Once upon a time, a long time ago (not really but it was a while back) I was a negative person, always thinking that the world was out to get me, always hating the cards I’d been dealt with and made it my life mission to constantly be depressed and a pessimist, then something magical happened and I became this other person. I became a person who was an optimist and tried to look at the brighter picture.
It might be something called “growing up” or it might be that I had a sudden jolt during a thunderstorm (in our case a dust storm) and I changed my outlook but it has helped a lot.
Yes life deals you some foul cards but it’s not the end of the world. Yes there are rude people out there but it doesn’t mean you have to be one of them in order to get by, sometimes the nicest of people can get the most accomplished.
When I was diagnosed back in January and was informed that surgery was the only way for me to be healthy again I won’t lie to you, I freaked out and cried (a tiny bit) but once that was out of my system I looked at it as an opportunity to be more healthy, an opportunity to get rid of something so bad in my body that will most definitely ruin my life if left untreated. And every doctor’s appointment since (check-ups that is) I just laugh it off and hope for the best.
They say laughter is what makes the heart young, I guess that means depression, negativity and sourness is what makes it old!
To all you negative people out there, I just want to tell you that there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel, you don’t have to think you are holier than thou and that you are the only one in this world who is dealt a bad card, some of you might have failed a class, might have been diagnosed with a serious illness, might have even lost a loved one by death or other means, might even have encountered other negative people… I just want to tell you that you don’t have to be all negative to get the attention you seem to crave. Life is so much better when you smile, life is so much better when you appreciate it, life is so much better simply because its not life who is dealing you the bad cards and waiting for you to hit rock bottom its simply testing your resolve and seeing how you would rise from this one challenge.
Life is good, only if you paint it that way and make it seem that way. Everyone has their own priorities and the stuff that would just turn it into hell but if you dwell on those you will simply miss out on living. And remember all the negativity you have in your body will only push everyone around you away. Out the door and they’d never look back!
We all suffer daily, some choose to move on with life and embrace it, while others simply choose to keep on suffering and paint themselves as the martyr in this chapter.
Any thoughts? Comments? Feel free to share below.