The last few years have been hard in my getting my groove back. I find myself writing less and less in my blog but I can’t for the life of me give up on it. I do share some TV news but it’s been so long since I’ve been personal on it. It seems as if Stella can’t find her groove and I know what she’s feeling! Instead of promising wanting to return back full force. I am wondering HOW can I return back full force?
I really should be asking myself this. How can I be the Jackie/Jacqui you guys all knew way back when? I need to go back to being personal but it seems as if I lost that part of me a while back. I have sort of turned into a robot going through the motions of life rather than anything else. I should be asking myself why I have lost touch? I should really just shrink myself but I guess that’s not as easy as it sounds.
I need to set smaller goals. I need to come back in smaller doses. I am way more active (well not by that much) on Instagram so I think I should duplicate what I’m doing there on the blog maybe that will help boost up the sales? :P Hehehe not that there are any sales available. But seriously maybe that’ll help!
Can’t wait for 9/9! And then a few days later when I hitch a plane ride over to NYC Baby! I should use my brand-new MacBook to get me back into the groove!
Stella you will get your groove back! I know you can do it!!!
I keep trying to write about my life, but due to it being so depressingly boring I find that nothing important is there to write about. I can write about the imaginary world I live in, but then again I forget about it the minute I open this “Add New Post” page and back to writer’s block (I wish).
Pretty soon it’ll be a year since I started working in a government job, or rather a job in one of the ministries out there. To say this is a dream come true is a shocking untruth! I actually have started to hate it and want something better out of it. I hate it because I feel (and yes I might be a bit narcissistic here and thinking too much of myself) I feel that I am way over qualified for everything that I’m doing there.
Some tasks that would take people days to finish I can finish in an hour or two and that’s without even trying too hard to finish it fast, hell its without trying at all. Work is well put and just looks extra perfect and neat.
Bah, I’m just depressed again. I blame it on hormones and shizzle! My brain is fried in a way and I can’t seem to find a way to unfry it. But let’s hope tomorrow is a good day.
I’m fast approaching my 6 month work anniversary in the public sector (and really I’m only counting because by then I can take two weeks paid leave and escape from the hell hole) and I have just realized how badly I miss the private sector when it comes to actually doing work.
So far the only up side to working in the public sector (government sector) is the fact that you have less working hours. That’s it, that’s pretty much all there is to it. You go to work at 8 and leave at 1:30 or 2 depending on which Ministry you work in.
The pay, the colleagues, the non-existant work (or rather secretarial/administrative work) all majorly suck. It is starting to get to me how much I am hating the place I am in because there is no future. We all go to school, study and graduate with good grades or even top honors, find a job where we can give back to the community. But what happens when your job is basically filing papers, typing up stuff, going on to google to research stuff, or even going on to google to translate stuff (which sucks I might add). All that hard work spent improving yourself gone out the window just because some people where you work view you as a threat and figure because you are amazing you will quickly replace them and take over their job.
I started a part-time job at a place where I figure I might make a difference, actually I know I will. I am hoping I can transfer there someday soon but the work is hectic, its more along the lines of Private Sector work, but I ABSOLUTELY FREAKING LOVE IT! Yes it can be long hours but you actually see something happening.
With my previous jobs I used to see the outcome of something I did and I was insanely proud no matter how much other factors disrupted that feeling but I was so happy that I got to see an insane number of customers at the bank and finished their transactions in time and to the best that I could. I was happy to go into work and edit articles, lay out a page for the newspaper and just see it come out the next day. I miss that.
You might think going into the Public/Government sector will be a calming thing or even relaxing but there is an even bigger headache there, and once you go Private you can’t go back.
Just felt the need to vent out a bit.
These past couple of weeks, hell these past couple of years I have felt the least bit like myself than I have ever in my life. Wait do you think that makes sense? What I mean to say that there are more days than I can count where I felt I am a different person and not that “Somebody that I used to know.. somebodyyyyyy..” (ok enough singing!). Life has a funny way of catching up with you and just either dragging you down, that is if you let it or lifting you up.
One of my recent troubles lately is that I now understand why government jobs for those of us who love to work or love to produce are more like a death sentence than anything else. There are days at work where I have NOTHING to do at all, and then there are those where everyone just remembers that I exist and pile up pointless work on top of me. I am pretty much a glorified administrative assistant (see what I did there, I just flipped Secretary to Admin Assistant :P). I mean I am baffled by how crazy things are, for example a menial job would be: Person A writes an official paper then calls for Person B and C to sit down together and proof-read the paper by, and I am serious here, by sitting down and having Person B read along from the new document while Person C follows on the previous document. Since when does proof-reading take 2 people? The things one sees in the government sector.
I miss the private sector, I miss being able to accomplish something. In all my previous jobs I felt a sense of gratification and satisfaction when I saw that one thing I made come to life. Whether it was during my Banking days when I would help out customers by opening accounts, applying for loans, or whatever they wanted those who were in dire straits and got their money in a speedy manner were ever so thankful and just made you feel “Oh wow, I am totally awesome!” or even my Newspaper days where I would go in and pick out the stories I wanted to share with the readers and just edit and organize things so people can read the paper. I would open it the next day and say to myself “HEY I MADE THIS!” It was just totally awesome.
At least I still have my blog to make me feel awesome, and the fact that the more experiences I drum up and add to my roster the better a person I can be with all that knowledge. I really truly like learning everything it doesn’t matter what but its just fun because then I know how things work (remember that book back in the day?) and that allows me to deal with things in a better manner.
Anyways enough ranting, and do enjoy my Fall 2014 TV posts below because I know some of you live for them! :P
So the day is finally here, today on the #StarWarsHoliday #MayTheFourth I began my first day of work in the government sector. After spending almost 6 years in the private sector this is kind of a downgrade if only because of the incomprehensible way of doing things. The journey to finish my papers and start was not that long but not that short as well.
First step was to come to work by 8:00 AM (I arrived at 7:29 AM and decided to have breakfast at the coffee shop down below). When it was 8:00 AM I went upstairs to the Human Resources Department where I found out that the employees who were to process our papers weren’t there yet and they didn’t show up until 8:15 AM.
I filled out my papers and was asked to take a document to the department where I would be starting and get it signed from my manager.
Second Step was to sign my papers and take them back to the HR Department. I completed that step in less than 5 minutes hehe they were shocked by how fast it took me to go between floors and such.
Third Step was to go to the other HR floor and get the original copy of my Work Declaration (not sure if that is what it is called by it is basically a Work Contract). The ladies who would give me that paper weren’t there, they told me she might arrive at 11-ish.
Fourth Step was to go back to the floor where I would start and have them add my fingerprint to the attendance system. That lady wasn’t there yet therefore I was asked to wait.
Instead of waiting and wasting more time I took the chance to go to the Man Power Government Program to remove my name from the Unemployed list so as not to get in trouble. I finished and came back at 11:00 AM and was able to find everyone I needed to see to complete Steps 3 and 4.
After selecting the desk where I was to sit, I waited for the IT guys to give me my username and password and it has yet to be done but all in all I have half an hour left of the work day and then I off to home.
Did I do anything useful today? Absolutely not! I just woke up early and spent the day walking around getting papers done only to end up not even knowing what I am supposed to do here.
All in all, this is going to be an interesting journey. I wonder what is in store for me :P
P.S. At least I can now post on my blog when I am insanely bored and have nothing to do which might be quite often.
I’m still alive and around, I know I pretty much haven’t been updating as often as I should and I deserve a real kick in the bum but I promise (yes this time I will keep it) [no really I will keep it] to write more if only a few lines to get the voices out of my head.
Yes although I am somewhat sane, I tend to have voices talking to me in my head sometimes and they just can’t stop. Life as an unemployed individual is really not always that fun, especially since you can’t travel on your own funds and waste the time on a never-ending vacation. I have pretty much depleted all of my savings and funds and am beyond literally broke!
Things might be “somewhat” looking up as I am in the final process of finalizing my papers for a Government job. Yes the Private sector has deemed me not “fresh” enough or not “experienced” enough to hire and thus the dilemma of walking in either too qualified or not qualified enough has haunted me. Not to mention how they want an MBA simply because they just do. I mean, it’s good that I even graduated university and didn’t drop out like my idol Steven Paul Jobs! *Just Kidding* (seriously I’m kidding)! Oh wow, how I missed this sort of babbling on endlessly (hopefully not since this post has to end) and just writing out what those voices in my head say. I have silenced them for so long.
Damn, I have missed you blog, seriously missed you! I now understand why I feel so lonely some days! I have tried to replace my blog with Instagram (@Jacqui) or reading books and watching TV shows and that just doesn’t help me vent out.
I will now vent once a day! :P Watch out! To those of you who are still around, *waves hello!*
Ever since my hair debacle which happened in the summer of 2012 (Cliff Notes version of the story is that I went to a new salon near my previous job – wanted a haircut and I’d never had one there [was daring with my hair choices] – I basically wanted a trim and to lighten my hair a bit unfortunately the hair dresser chose to give me a bob! – previously my hair was up to my shoulder blades and when I walked out it was up to the base of my neck.) So ever since then I decided I wanted to grow out my hair.
I’ve reached the longest I’ve ever had it in the past let’s say 6-7 years but I’m having a problem with it. I just can’t sleep with my hair touching my neck so I fan it out on the pillow and whenever I toss and turn at night I wake up because I just need to remove it from the back of my neck. Another thing I am disliking is the fact that it’s just not listening to me, my hair that is, it feels dead, blah, bland, etc.
I am pretty much the least girly girl I know in my circle of friends. I don’t do hair masks, or oil my hair, or anything of the sort on a regular basis. I basically wash it every other day with shampoo and conditioner and that’s it. I straighten it out the next day because I have curly hair that turns into waves when I go out. And insanely frizzy when it’s humid which is basically everyday.
Any solutions, advice you guys can give me to try to maintain it because I really don’t want to cut it and wish to see it reach the middle of my back (I hope by end of this year!)
Distraught Hair Troubles