I feel that I have written this exact post about a million times, and each time promising that I’m back for good and a few short weeks later I disappear (let’s be honest it’s even less than a few weeks). Something just doesn’t feel right, I constantly get my greatest ideas before I go to bed.
The minute my head hits the pillow I start penning (that’s writing for you non-English majors :P) the post and thinking about what I want to say and when the morning comes I promise myself that I will actually end up writing something today, but the day comes and goes without me having written anything.
I kind of feel uninspired, a sense of writer’s block and everything block if that’s a situation one can be in. It’s been 6 months now without a job and I feel a bit demotivated, I get bouts of depression from time to time but then again I can chalk those up to my medication whose side effect includes mood swings and such. I don’t feel as if I am my usual joyous self (not that I was insanely joyous to begin with) but I am thankful enough that I am alive and able to write at least these meager words. I feel lost, I have plenty of experiences to write about but when it comes down to it, when I sit in front of the computer and place my fingers on the keyboard, everything blanks out and I just disappear.
It’s the same feeling when it comes to being inspired to create something new, working on new websites, new designs and such I just feel blah. I’m not sure what is happening but I do hope it’s just a phase.
Now that I semi-returned I want to write something, anything really, once a day at least get my thoughts flowing. Get used to writing again. I will ignore the need to include pictures in my raw posts simply because that’s how I did it for so long and I was happy with the outcome. So bear with me (errrr errrrr I’m a bear ;P) and let’s see how long this comeback sticks, hopefully more than the 2 seconds Justin Timberlake gave ‘NSYNC during the MTV Video Music Awards this year :P
So, Good Night since I decided to not sleep until I actually write these thoughts this time.
After a very successful run on television, 30 Rock has sadly come to an end. Fans are mourning the loss of their weekly dose of Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. But while these two impressive entertainers received all the credit for the show’s success, they were helped along by several talented guest stars. And when those guest stars return to your television screen in the form of 30 Rock reruns, www.direct.tv suggests that you enjoy their presence with the assistance of your DVR, mobile phone or tablet.
Until then, keep on the lookout for these amazing guests who have graced 30 Rock’s lineup:
Once upon a time, a long time ago (not really but it was a while back) I was a negative person, always thinking that the world was out to get me, always hating the cards I’d been dealt with and made it my life mission to constantly be depressed and a pessimist, then something magical happened and I became this other person. I became a person who was an optimist and tried to look at the brighter picture.
It might be something called “growing up” or it might be that I had a sudden jolt during a thunderstorm (in our case a dust storm) and I changed my outlook but it has helped a lot.
Yes life deals you some foul cards but it’s not the end of the world. Yes there are rude people out there but it doesn’t mean you have to be one of them in order to get by, sometimes the nicest of people can get the most accomplished.
When I was diagnosed back in January and was informed that surgery was the only way for me to be healthy again I won’t lie to you, I freaked out and cried (a tiny bit) but once that was out of my system I looked at it as an opportunity to be more healthy, an opportunity to get rid of something so bad in my body that will most definitely ruin my life if left untreated. And every doctor’s appointment since (check-ups that is) I just laugh it off and hope for the best.
They say laughter is what makes the heart young, I guess that means depression, negativity and sourness is what makes it old!
To all you negative people out there, I just want to tell you that there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel, you don’t have to think you are holier than thou and that you are the only one in this world who is dealt a bad card, some of you might have failed a class, might have been diagnosed with a serious illness, might have even lost a loved one by death or other means, might even have encountered other negative people… I just want to tell you that you don’t have to be all negative to get the attention you seem to crave. Life is so much better when you smile, life is so much better when you appreciate it, life is so much better simply because its not life who is dealing you the bad cards and waiting for you to hit rock bottom its simply testing your resolve and seeing how you would rise from this one challenge.
Life is good, only if you paint it that way and make it seem that way. Everyone has their own priorities and the stuff that would just turn it into hell but if you dwell on those you will simply miss out on living. And remember all the negativity you have in your body will only push everyone around you away. Out the door and they’d never look back!
We all suffer daily, some choose to move on with life and embrace it, while others simply choose to keep on suffering and paint themselves as the martyr in this chapter.
Any thoughts? Comments? Feel free to share below.
And the final version of the list is now available, be sure to enjoy it and of course the whole point of this list is to know what’s airing where :P You don’t really have to watch everything on it. I added a few shows (as per some requests) and I have updated all the timings (if there are any mistakes in that regards bear in mind that some networks change the timings as the month goes along to accommodate the prayer timings and such [i.e. Al Rai & Al Watan mostly]) so take it with a grain of salt.
A Full version of the list is also available in PDF form, download it onto your phones, email it to your friends, and you will be able to access it at all timings and zoom in and out to see it. That’s my solution for the (iPhone-friendly) version or download the AlQabas (Jadwal Bo 6baila) App [which is incorrect at most times] and enjoy that option.
Personal posts should make a come back here, I should bring them back.. I used to love sharing my thoughts out with the interweb space (yes I made that up, I think) and I think it’s time to bring it back. Ever since I got back from the States I guess I have been in a sort of hibernation, depression, sick mode which I am trying to get myself out of. I’ve also procrastinated a lot of things, I know some of you might not care what I write or anything about my life but my blog has always been MY outlet to express myself and I guess this is as good time as any to try to drag myself out of it.
I did a lot of cool things on my last trip to the States.. I went to New York and Las Vegas and boy did I have fun! Not to mention I didn’t actually want to come home (mainly because I liked the ‘semi-active’ lifestyle I led there). I used to walk everywhere I wanted to go (with the exception of a handful of times I used the Taxi only because it was either too late to walk home or the location was extremely far.
Depression hits me at odd times, mostly when I feel myself too sick to do something or just too plain lazy to do it. No I don’t think the laziness plays a part but something triggers it, I fight the ‘Debbie Downer’ feelings I get as often as I can but sometimes I end up staying a bit longer in bed or watching reruns of an old TV Show just to get out of my funk and it would help a bit. But thankfully I’m leading a good life (unemployed) but still good.
I guess that’s pretty much a small update as to the state of my mind.. What’s new with you? If you’d care to share, I’d be happy to listen (or read in this case).
P.S. A final update to the list will be released sometime around 2pm tomorrow if not a bit later.. Trying to get the final timings since a lot of networks CHANGED it completely :s Damn their bipolar timings!